I’ve been obsessed with the end result, goals, and due dates for so long that the stress of expectations, delivering, and perfection bleeds into all aspects of my life and has manifested in terrible anxiety and body aches.
Listening to Jessica Lahey speak about parenting and “product over process” was an eye opener. She did an interview on the Armchair Expert podcast.
The obsession with outcomes for which I have no control and unnecessary expectations in regards to parenting, art making, earning a living as an Artist, relationships, and marriage.
Just be. Just do.
How do I be more autonomous and less directive as a parent? First, allow myself more autonomy and be less directive to myself. I constantly have a voice in my head telling me how to do things, what decisions to make, what to live up to, and how things should be.
How do I flow as an Artist? First, trust myself, my vision, and my voice. What I have to say as an Artist matters. Not how much a project pays. Not the deadline. Not anyone’s opinions. Focus on creating what I want, when I want. The outcomes will be a result of my process.
How can I be a better partner? I am already. Stop obsessing about being in a happy marriage. Focus on the process of maintaining healthy relationships.
When it’s done, accept the outcomes or consequences, then ask “What could I do next time?”
I’ve been struggling with long term over short term mindset. It’s linked back to scarcity vs. abundance mindset. Time. There’s not enough time. There’s a self imposed deadline. There’s a due date. I want it done. Or it will never get done. I’m in discomfort. Yet, there IS enough time. Plenty of time. If time does come short, then what?
Accept the outcome or consequences, then ask “What could I do next time?” or “How can I move forward?”
Mindset matters. It’s never too late to change my mindset. Yet, the shame of over parenting, over obsessing is heavy. It’s time to release it. Damn, that must be part of the process.
Obsessed with finding happiness (end result). Let it go. Focus on process. The process of life. Living daily life. Doing things that are enjoyable so the unenjoyable things become less tedious. Focus on routines and healthy habits. Forgiveness. Self advocacy. Boundaries. Here and now. No purpose. Just do the things. The outcomes will be what they’ll be. I am capable of handling it all.